The 24-year-old singer has previously admitted to taking cocaine and says she still worries about the extent of her narcotic use when she was trying to launch her music career.
She told Neil Strauss in his new book Everyone Loves You When You Are Dead: "Sometimes it freaks me out - or I should say it petrifies me - when I think about laying in my apartment in New York with bed bugs and roaches on the floor and mirrors with cocaine everywhere, and no will or interest in doing anything but making music and getting high. "I've had such obstacles with drugs and rejection and people not believing in me. It's been a very long and continuous road that I love, but it's hard to just chalk it up to myself. I have to believe there's something greater than myself." The author also revealed the "Born this Way" hitmaker confided in him that she had previously suffered a “traumatic experience” but wouldn’t give details as she doesn’t want her fans to be upset. He told RadarOnline.com: "I asked her if she'd been through a traumatic experience when she was younger and she said yes, that it was when she was in New York and it was so terrible that she'd blocked it out.
"She said it was so horrible that she didn't want it in her younger fans' heads. I think she felt that if she opened up about herself, then it would define her and that's all anyone would ask about." However, Gaga did hint at her problems, but insisted she had brought them all on herself. She said: "I didn't have a bad childhood. All of the things I went through were on my own quest for an artistic journey to f**k myself up like Warhol and Bowie and Mick, and just go for it.
"All of the trauma I caused to myself. Or it was caused by people that I met when being outrageous and irresponsible." This goes to show that not everybody has the balls for true rockstardom and that is inspiring because its better and lass harmfull to be artistic without all the vices and antics! Just go for it!
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